Man & WomaN

Easy a Man, Difficult a Woman




A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!" There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads:Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.The 3rd floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking."Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework."Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.The 1st floor has wives that love sex.The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.*******

four cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were .The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.To show off, the Engineer called his cat,"T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better.He called his cat and said,"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies ............Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff."Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.Everyone agreed that was pretty good.Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"The Government Employee called his cat and said....."Coffee Break.....do your stuff."Coffee Break jumped to his feet...........Ate the cookies...............Drank the milk..............Sh*t on the paper....................Screwed the other three cats.....................Claimed he injured his back while doing so..................Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.........Put in for Workers Compensation...............andWent home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............!!!!!!!!!!**********